Posts by Alligator Wisdom

i remember getting my talk slip a good three months before i was to deliver it, and my talk was prepared a full month before the date (this was the only time i had such advanced preparation.

My first talk......I was in the first grade at about 6 years old! (Back in the mid-70's). Like you, crownboy, I had at least 3 months in advanced preparation for a #2 Talk/Bible Reading. But, what could a 6 year old boy say about the "preparation to build the temple & the alien residents"? (1Chronicles 22:2-19). My talk was made by my JW mother along with her JW neighbor (Sister Joan Johnson).

Nervous? OF COURSE. I didn't even know that I had applied to the Theocratic Ministry School. My mother did all the maneuvers. I was like a sacrifice to Jehovah in my mother's behalf. And you want to talk about advanced preparation! I memorized the entire part! I really didn't even need to bring a Bible because I had memorized the reading portion too. I don't mean to boast, but according to everyone, it was total perfection! (For a 6 year old boy). But I now realize that the bulk of the praise was being given to my mother. She wanted to "show-off" that her son can do just like the older kids.

I was given every bit of advice (PRESSURE) during the three month count-down. Raise your voice here, gesture there, pause here, look at the audience in a zig-zag fashion...etc. The calendar was marked in BOLD LETTERS. New suit and tie. My goodness, I didn't know that it was like this whenever anyone has a part during the meeting. This had changed my whole perspective in giving talks. I continued to be so "maticulous" in my preparation for any of my assignments for the next 30 years. That is what contributed to my burn-out and burn-down. I was doing all of this for man! NOT GOD!

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother Exerting Vigorously)

61

Describe Your "STATUS" In The Congreg...

by minimus in

jw
friends

if you were to describe what your status was in the congregation, what would it be?

were you viewed as mature?

in "good standing", a pain in the rear?

Alligator Wisdom

I was always known as "Brother Exerting Vigorously". I had always been forever trying to attain the standards of the WT organization. I guess when I became inactive for a period of time during the early 90's, I had to reprove my faith by doing twice as much. Now I'm BURNT! Planning the slow fade.......

4

XJWS FROM TORRANCE OR GARDENA AREA

by yucca in

jw
friends

hi are there any xjws from torrance gardena area or any from so.

california?

like to hear from you.

Alligator Wisdom

Hello there Yucca!

I was raised in the South Bay area of Southern California. I once lived in the Torrance/Gardena area. Moved away not too long ago. I know many who are still attending the East Lawndale congregation where I once had been going to. I heard that the congregation has grown very small because of many who had either left or grown old. (Of course, there had been some recent DA's and DF's over the past couple of years.) I myself am still a JW, however, trying to make the slow exit. So, where do you live now?

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother Exerting Vigorously)

Edited by - alligator wisdom on 7 November 2002 21:49:24

16

Comments You Will NOT Hear at the 11-3 WT Study

by blondie in

comments you wont hear at the november 3, 2002 wt study.

"pay more than the usual attention"hebrews 2:1.

introduction .

Alligator Wisdom

Blondie!

Honestly, this DID HAPPEN!

I was the Watchtower reader for the article you just posted. (Being the reader on stage, you can see everyone clearly). Get this!! After reading paragraph 11 (...daydreaming...dozing...), I sat down and couldn't contain myself. There in front of me was Brother S*********, SLEEPING! I had to really to control from laughing. And then guess! Well, while reading paragraph 13 (...suggestion about sitting up in front...), I really had to contain myself because Brother S******** was in the FRONT ROW! (Talk about not trying to laugh out loud while reading).

I have to admit. This was the BEST WT Study I have ever been to!

I always enjoy your posts. (And thanks, you did reply to one of mine). Since I'm currently "so-called active", I still attend meetings. (However, I'm trying to do the "slow submerge"). Now with your article reviews, I can really get the most of the meetings because of the "new light". Keep em' coming!

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother Exerting Vigorously)

7

Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions

by kelpie in

jw
friends

here is a nice thought for the day.. may we be like children and look for the positive things in life!

big mud puddles and sunny yellow dandelions author unknown .

when i look at a patch of dandelions, i see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard.

Alligator Wisdom

Thanks for the "flashback" Kelpie! I remember "back in the days..."

Too often, as we all grow older, the simple things in life are easy to neglect. Your post will help me get thru today's crisis that I'm dealing with.

John Lennon once sung "Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans".

This "motto" has always been my personal favorite! When I see young children, I really admire their joy and carefree spirit. I hope to get back in touch with mine.

Thanks for your post!

Alligator Wisdom

33

I am new

by madison149 in

jw
friends

i've been reading this site for about 2 weeks.

the information and support here are great!

i'm trying to fade away from the jw's without having to da myself (because of my many jw family members).

Alligator Wisdom

Hi Madison,

As a "newbie" myself, I welcome you.

I, too, am planning to fade. This discussion forum will do wonders for you. So far it has for me. Feeling alone in any type of struggle can be torture. You will find much support and compassion among the various "companions" here. I've only been here two days and my convinction has been reinforced.

Remember, you will have the elders "come-a-knockin". Be careful of what you will say. In fact, the least, the better. I found many wise suggestions that the friends here have given. Please be discreet (that word again!!) and endeavor to leave peacefully. The elders would rather prefer to DF or DA someone instead of having them fade away. It will show to the congregation that they are doing their duty (keeping in control) and are keeping the flock clean.

Each of us has our own issues and reasons why we need to separate from the WT organization. However, any terms that a person comes to in order to leave the WT is a conclusion that is valid.

We all will be looking forward to hearing from you soon. Keep us posted!

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother Exerting Vigorously)

26

Step down from privileges and what? FADE?

by Alligator Wisdom in

i was raised and am currently a jw (detailed within my personal profile).

however, yesterday i turned in my letter of stepping down as ministerial servant.

yesterday i just joined the board and i'm glad to be here.

Alligator Wisdom

Dear Friends,

Thanks for all of your responses! I feel much better today! It really is comforting to know that there are many who are familiar with my current crisis and are willing to help. I am especially touched about how many of you have considered what my wife may be perceiving from my current actions. Thanks for considering her. Yes, she knows I'm frustrated. She now understands the background of my life being raised in the WT organization. I'm blessed because she is really tender at heart and very aware of my situation. Of course, I have to be careful on how I will have to start "baby feeding" her about what the JW's are really about. I don't want her to think or find out that I was reading "apostate" material. That will only discourage her.

I will start taking the steps as you all had suggested. In particular, the "keep your mouth shut" advise. Since I have seen many Witnesses come and go, I know the implications of what expressing our own true thoughts about the Society can bring (DF). And for me that isn't what I want. I know that there are many who may feel otherwise and would want me to be more courageous and take a firm stand and announce to the Society/congregation/elder body about the way both I and they have been deceived. I'm sorry, but I'm not quite so bold. I need to be careful now about how I will slip away. I still feel that there are many "good people" out there in the WT organization. It is only because what they have been "molded" to become and what to think by their family and peers in the WT organization is what makes them a JW. They are still people! ("Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" Luke 23:34).

Since I didn't go out in field service for the past week, canceled a shepharding call whom I was to accompany an elder, plus I skipped the Book Study twice in a row, the elders have already "come-a-knockin". I also haven't commented at the WT study the last two Sundays. Being a Ministerial Servant, that raised some of the elder's eyebrows. I also notified the Presiding Overseer this morning by e-mail that I can't fulfill my part in the Service Meeting tonight. (I still have to tell them that I want to cancel my public talk coming up in two weeks). All of this along with my letter expressing my desire to step-down as a Ministerial Servant a few days back has certainly raised a red-flag. It makes me wonder if they will ever grant my request to step down from my privileges. I hope I don't have to wait for the next Circuit Overseer visit in order to step down because we just had him visiting (spying) 2 weeks ago and his next visit isn't for another 6 months. The elders have already came by four times within the last week. I expected them to. That's what they usually do, right? But the last time, yesterday while I was posting my 1st experience on this forum, the elders came by again, but I didn't open the door. (I wonder if they knew I was home or not? My wife was out in field service with some friends in another congregation.) But during the times that I had met with the elders when they came by "unexpectedly" (as usual), I only expressed about my relationship with Jehovah is not as it should be because I'm down and depressed. (NOT A LIE! TRUE! ~ The reason for being depressed is that I never learned how to "love" God. I really hope that I can one day).

I know that my mission and recovery will take time. Most likely the scars will never heal. Who knows? My self-esteem is at it's lowest ebb ever. But I appreciate the boost of confidence that all of you have given me. I'm glad to be on-board. Thanks for all of your support! I'll let you know what develops.

Yours "faithful and true",

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother Exerting Vigorously)

5

Japan

by happysunshine in

anyone have any connections with japan?.

also, i'm trying to get touch with poster "jwd".

tried address [email protected].

Alligator Wisdom

I moved here with my wife to Japan to serve where there is a greater need. I do understand some Japanese. Studied it for two years on my own back in the USA. And regarding the witnessing activity here, well, there are about 210,000 JW's within Japan. Very ultra conservative! Brothers must where dark suits. And shirts??!! Must be white. You're lucky if you can wear light pink. If there is any brother wearing a dark shirt, they are considered "iffy" witnesses. Does that sound like the Pharisees? The English congregations are a little more flexible. You can where a dark blue shirt. But not a suit with "4" buttons on the front.

What else would you like to know?

I'll be awaiting your reply.

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother Exerting Vigorously )

Edited by - alligator wisdom on 1 November 2002 5:56:10

26

Step down from privileges and what? FADE?

by Alligator Wisdom in

i was raised and am currently a jw (detailed within my personal profile).

however, yesterday i turned in my letter of stepping down as ministerial servant.

yesterday i just joined the board and i'm glad to be here.

Alligator Wisdom

I was raised and am currently a JW (detailed within my personal profile). However, yesterday I turned in my letter of stepping down as Ministerial Servant. Yesterday I just joined the board and I'm glad to be here. This is my first post. Also in this forum, I participated for the first time "chatting live". This type of exploration and searching is strictly prohibited by the WT Society . Now I can see why. There are so many "eye-opening" revelations that the WT organization wants to keep hidden. Right now I'm looking to "widen out" [in JW lingo] (2Corinthians 6:13). I need answers to my confusion. I can't continue marching in this parade anymore. I grew up in fear of Jehovah. How can I love God entirely (Mark 12:30)? I don't know how nor was I ever taught how to. It just so happens to be that this year's text which is posted in every Kingdom Hall in the world displays what Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 to "Come....and I will refresh you". Well, I never learned how to do that also. My salvation all depended upon "works". You know, "faith w/o works is dead" (James 2:26). [Sorry for all the NWT quotes. That's the only Bible I know.] I'm tired of all this hocus-pocus. What I did was never enough. It was always inculcated in me to "exert yourself vigorously" (Luke 13:24). I had suffered from burn-out innumerable times . I'm glad for never accepting any appointment to become an elder. My conscience had always pushed me to decline. I'm glad I didn't give in. I could never, with a clean conscience, take the lead in encouraging people to serve the god I know. But you know what kind of heat I got for always declining? The elder body always pushed for a SCRIPTURAL REASON each time that I would decline. I was in good standing and had done much in my prefunctory service to Jehovah, so it was basically expected of me. I was almost forced to "reach out for the office of overseer" (1Timothy 3:1). So....you want a SCRIPTURAL REASON, huh? Well, do you know what I told them? NO! MATTHEW 5:37!! ("yes mean yes and no, no"). That stopped that harassment!

My next plan is now to do a "Submarine Witness" and submerge. But how can I do so without tripping up the DA or DF wire? I now see that what I've been learning about the organization and all this hairball of a life that I've been living has taken it's toll on me. I'm disappointed that I had given up so many opportunities in my life to better myself instead of just keeping straight within the WTBTS's line. Now I'm disillusioned about many things . I know that there MUST be a God. I just need to learn how to "draw close" to him (James 4:8). Being in the WT organization hasn't helped me any in that respect. My wife is a 1st generation JW and is a regular pioneer. I am fortunate (I can't use the word "lucky", remember?) that she is quite understanding and realizes my dilemma. She feels that I have the right to feel the way I do.

I'm open for your suggestions and thoughts.

May you all have "peace" in your lives everyday (John 14:27). That is my quest!

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother Exerting Vigorously )

Edited by - alligator wisdom on 31 October 2002 0:32:6

Edited by - alligator wisdom on 31 October 2002 2:37:35

Edited by - alligator wisdom on 31 October 2002 20:53:43